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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27462655">Worst In Leauge</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eli_Finch/pseuds/Eli_Finch'>Eli_Finch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Blaseball (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arson, M/M, No beta we die like Jaylen, blaseball typical angst, but like for jokes, there is like a lot of cussing in this so like warning for that, this takes place like late season 2 early 3, tillman is gay and homphobic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:53:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27462655</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eli_Finch/pseuds/Eli_Finch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Who’s not your boyfriend?” asked Tillman from his rolled down car window.</p>
<p>“You, asshole” said Mike hopping into the car and slamming the door. “What you are, however, is “very, very banned” from all Garage’s social spaces. For lots of things”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mike Townsend/Tillman Henderson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Worst In Leauge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Tillman had ever said to him was “Wow, you do suck”. It was after a Garages/Crabs game. Mike had been pitching and they had lost. Badly. The fans had sang Mike Townsend (is a disappointment) in perfect harmony. Mike wanted to go back to his apartment and sleep for a week straight. He did not want Tillman Henderson, whose reputation as a complete dick preceded him.</p>
<p>“Uh, do you want something?”</p>
<p>“You’ve got a song.”</p>
<p>“Well, it’s not like mine I didn’t write it”</p>
<p>“No shit. Listen. I’ve been doing this heel shit for like ever. No one has ever written me a song. And what you stroll out here and just become the most hated person in the league? I’ve been putting fucking work into it. So cut it out.”</p>
<p>“I uh. I can’t. I can’t cut it out.”</p>
<p>“Just stop throwing the ball in the same place every time. This isn’t dlarts. Damn. I bet you’de be good at dlarts.”</p>
<p>“I uh. I’ve never played dlarts. Also I am trying to throw the ball in different places I just like. I don’t understand and also my hands are normal and-“ Tillman had clapped him on his back. </p>
<p>“So you need to git gud.”</p>
<p>“I know” Mike had said thoroughly irritated at this point.</p>
<p>“I’m going to show you some epic gamer moves”</p>
<p>“Wh-“</p>
<p>“Listen if we can boost your stats everyone will love you, or at least tolerate you and I can get back to my position as the top heel in the game. I’ll see you at 6. Order us some pizza or something, I’m not paying”</p>
<p>And thus Mike had started training with Tillman. Tillman was a terrible fucking teacher and half the time they just ended up going to dive bars or talking shit but it was better that hanging out alone in his apartment. And Tillman could be, not pleasant, but nice to be around. At the very least he was a perfect white noise machine for Mike to tune out. Either way Mike was pretty sure he was not ready to examine his feelings for Tillman closely. At any rate they were “practicing” again today which is why Mike was swinging by the Garage’s clubhouse to grab beer he had left in the fridge for them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Mike entered the Garage’s clubhouse he was not expecting to see half the team waiting for him. Theodore Duende, in full team captain mode, was standing at the front with his arms crossed.</p>
<p>“Uhhhh…. hi” said Mike, scanning his brain for things he could have possibly fucked up in the last 24 hours. He had done his dishes this time and he hadn’t tried playing anyone else’s instruments since he'd almost broken Theo’s guitar when he’d accidentally dropped it.</p>
<p>“Townsend” said Duende, clarifying nothing.</p>
<p>“His shitty car is outside idling as we speak” said Allison, clarifying that this had something to do with Tillman.</p>
<p>“Ummm did you need something from Tillman?” asked Mike.</p>
<p>“Yeah” Allison snorted “The $50 he owes me”.</p>
<p>“Darling, he owes everyone $50” Lang interjected “You will never see that money returned in this life or another.”</p>
<p>“Uhh I mean I could ask him. He pays me back when I lend him money so I’m sure he just needs a reminder?” Mike said, motioning at the door. </p>
<p>Duende raised his eyebrows. “That is interesting. But no. We’re here to tell you that Tillman is banned from these premises. And also from the alley behind us. And the tour bus”</p>
<p>“Uhhhh” said Mike. </p>
<p>“He stole a bunch of weed from Cedric and Gwiffin, even though he can definitely afford his own. He keeps pulling pranks involving dropping buckets of water on Mallik and messing with Monstera’s rituals by drawing dicks over his sigils.” Duende paused and sighed. “Also he’s really loud and annoying. And very, very banned.”</p>
<p>“Uh. Oh. Okay” Wow he was just the master of eloquence today.</p>
<p>“Listen” said Duende “I have no clue what you see in him. But this isn’t about your terrible taste in men, it’s about keeping the Garage a respectful and safe environment. And if I catch him in here again, I will have to give you a temporary ban too. So just be cool dude.”</p>
<p>“Oh! We aren’t like. I mean I don’t.” Allison raised her eyebrow this time “Anyway uh I’ll let him know” Mike stuttered trying to get out the door as fast as possible.</p>
<p>“TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND I’M GOING TO BREAK HIS KNEECAPS IF I DON’T HAVE MY $50 NEXT TIME I SEE HIM” shouted Allison as he headed out.</p>
<p>“HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND” Mike shouted back. He was, oh gross, blushing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who’s not your boyfriend?” asked Tillman from his rolled down car window.</p>
<p>“You, asshole” said Mike hopping into the car and slamming the door. “What you are, however, is “very, very banned” from all Garage’s social spaces. For lots of things”</p>
<p>“Ah dude, that’s fucking lame.” said Tillsend thoughtfully. “I thought you all we’re supposed to be hardcore and not all sensitive.”</p>
<p>Mike rolled his eyes. “Well if they catch you there again, I’M also getting banned again so don’t pull any stupid shit.”</p>
<p>“Now that’s just stupid. It’s not like you can control me.”</p>
<p>“Obviously” </p>
<p>“Wait what do you mean banned again? You pull some epic pranks, Mikey? You been holding back on me?”</p>
<p>“oh... no…”</p>
<p>“What you get banned for then?”</p>
<p>“uh…”</p>
<p>“Damn must have been pretty intense.”</p>
<p>“well it’s not like they banned me officially. it’s more like they would… accidentally lock me out, but i mean it obviously wasn’t on purpose.” MIke sighs, “i think. I think they just didn’t want to see my face.”</p>
<p>“What? They all blind? Cause you aren’t ugly.”</p>
<p>Mike deliberately looked away trying to not read into the fact that Tillman doesn’t think he’s ugly and trying to find a way to explain his teammate’s behavior. “no. after jaylen. it was really hard on everyone. and then here i am. just this living reminder of the fact that she’s gone.”</p>
<p>“That’s fucked up.”</p>
<p>“and she was like so perfect and im. well im me” Mike said laughing. Wow he should have not said anything about that. And not in front of Tillman. Dude was probably about to call him cringe for having emotions. He closed his eyes and wished he wasn’t in his car having this fucking conversation.</p>
<p>“She wasn’t perfect” Tillman sounded more serious than Mike had ever heard him. “She was just a  person who happened to be really good at throwing blaseballs cause of her fucked up fingers”</p>
<p>“You didn’t know her”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t matter”</p>
<p>“YES IT DOES” Mike was surprised to find himself raising his voice. “She never let that shit go to her head. And she was so patient with me during practice, she never got mad at me when I dropped shit or needed her to repeat things a million times. Everyone loved her for a fucking reason”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, the sun shone out of her ass. I get it. But if she was here it’s not like she wouldn't ever have made a mistake. And urghh” Tillman ran his finger through his hair. “It doesn’t fucking matter because she was just a person in the same way you’re just a person.”</p>
<p>“Wow I’m honored to be “just a person’”.</p>
<p>“What I mean is you’re worth just as much as her, no matter how shitty you are at pitching. And it was fucking shit of your teammates to do that to you”</p>
<p>“Is it? Man, I know everyone looks at me and goes “Wow this fucking dude! This guy is who we get now?!””</p>
<p>“Well maybe they should look at you and just see you”</p>
<p>“i mean i dont blame them. somedays i wish i would wake up and she’d be back and i’d just not be here.”</p>
<p>“For her sake, or yours?”</p>
<p>“What does that mean?”</p>
<p>“Hmmmm”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t like it was personal. They were just grieving!”</p>
<p>“They were taking it out on you. And fuck they still are.”</p>
<p>“By banning you from the garage?”</p>
<p>“By not sticking up for you against the fans. Man, I’ve seen them singing that fucking song. They’ve done remixes”</p>
<p>“its just a stupid meme”</p>
<p>“No I’M a stupid meme”</p>
<p>“Oh, jealous, again”</p>
<p>“Stop fucking interrupting me” </p>
<p>“Sorry, sorry”</p>
<p>“I’M in on the joke about me. I fucking chose this. You didn’t”</p>
<p>“Oh you “chose” this”</p>
<p>“Yes being a heel is my whole fucking thing!”</p>
<p>“Oh and not because it's easier than forming genuine connections with people”</p>
<p>“Okay one this is not fucking about me and two what the fuck”</p>
<p>“All I'm saying is that it's not like you have much experience with how other people feel and how that affects interpersonal relationships”</p>
<p>“You’re what- a fucking psychiatrist now?!”</p>
<p>“I'm just making the observation that I don’t have to listen to your uninformed opinions”</p>
<p>“Is that why you keep me around? So you can feel fucking holier than thou with your stupid martyr complex cause “Oh at least I’m not like Tillman, at least im making an effort sucking up to people who dont give a shit about me”</p>
<p>“I don’t fucking keep you around! And no to all of those things.” “Why? Do you keep me around cause you think its fucking funny how pathetic I am, cause it secretly makes you feel better that you’re not the most hated player in the league?”</p>
<p>“Dont be fucking stupid. I can’t believe we’re having this fucking argument because I dared to say you were worth as much as Jaylen.” Tillman sighed. “Do you want to go to Jamazon’s headquarters and smash their shit in with bats.”</p>
<p>“Yeah” said Mike who mostly did not want to be having this conversation more than he wanted to commit vandalism.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tillman started the car and started to drive. Mike watched him fiddling with his Iplod. A song filled the car. Mike’s favorite.</p>
<p>“Oh! This is my favorite song!”</p>
<p>“I know. That's why I’m playing it even though it sucks” Tillman rummaged around in his pockets and pulled out his vape pen.</p>
<p>“Are you trying to cheer me up?”</p>
<p>“No I’m. Fuck dude” he said before pausing to take a vape hit. “I’m trying to say I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Wow, pretty cringe”</p>
<p>“That's my line. My point is. eugh. I know this is your favorite song because I gave enough of a shit to remember. And I gave enough of a shit to remember because I like hanging out with you. And I like hanging out with you cause I think you’re a cool dude. and fuck anyone else thinks you aren’t”</p>
<p>“Wow I’m amazed your head hasn’t exploded from being that sincere”</p>
<p>“Shut up. I feel like I'm being smelted in the furnaces of minecraft. But this is me trying to form a “genuine human connection” or whatever.” Tillman shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took another vape hit before offering it to Mike. “Look, all I’m saying it isn’t your fault Jaylen died. Also to stop throwing a fucking 24 hour pity party and stand up for yourself”</p>
<p>Mike leaned his head back. “Urgh. i know yeah. and I'm sorry too. for what I said”</p>
<p>“Don't sweat it people say worse to me like, everyday”</p>
<p>“I don't doubt it” Mike took a hit from the vape. “Dude is this fucking bacon flavored?”</p>
<p>“Yeah bro, pretty epic, huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the ride passed uneventfully despite the fact that Tillman didn’t seem to know what a speed limit or a turn signal was. But when you spend most of your waking hours having to fear umpires who can set you on fire with their minds, driving dangerously didn’t really seem like much of a concern, Mike mused. When they pulled up to the headquarters of Jamazon Tillman had pulled out a couple of bats, several cans of spray paint and half a dozen eggs that he had apparently been hauling around for this exact purpose. “Pays to be prepared, bro” he had said. “Speaking of prepared, if we get in trouble my mom will just bail us out so don’t sweat it” handing Mike a mask. On a normal day, Mike would have probably chickened out but god he did really want to break some shit and then Tillman was grabbing his hand and leading him and Mike didn’t want him to let go. </p>
<p>Next thing Mike knew several things were on fire. Sirens were going off. Mike was smashing his fifth window and yelling incoherently. Tillman was yelling “YEAH SELF CARE!!! YOU'RE WORTH IT!!!” back at him. Then the sirens started to get louder and Tillman was grabbing his hand again and they were running down alley after alley laughing maniacally.</p>
<p>“Huff wait o-okay.” Mike said stopping and bending over. “Fucking need to catch my breath.” </p>
<p>Tillman had stopped and leaned against a dumpster. “That was pretty awesomesauce, huh?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah dude.” Mike said standing back upright. “Is this like a normal thing for you? Got some vendetta against Jamazon?”</p>
<p>“Nah, Jamazon’s pretty convenient actually.” Tillman smirked “I just thought maybe it would help you earn some cred with your teammates.”</p>
<p>“You-” Mike sputtered, processing the fact that Tillman had… done this for him? “You are fucking unbelievable Henderson”</p>
<p>“I know!” Tillman said triumphantly, a smile spreading across his face. </p>
<p>Mike looked at him; smoke coming off of him, wearing a “I’m the guy who sucks” shirt,  framed by an overflowing dumpster and realized all at once that he was unfortunately very in love with Tillman Henderson.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had gone bar hopping after that, running up Mike’s tabs. Tillman had made him play dlarts and it turned out he was good at them which just made Tillman insufferable about being right. Since his realization in the alley Mike had been hyper aware of every look, every time they bumped into each other. Trying to analyze Tillman’s behavior was exhausting. Trying to analyze to see if he reciprocated was frankly impossible. At one dive bar Tillman had flirted with half of the male bar staff before informing Mike that “He wasn’t gay for anything except clout” so Mike had given up. He was honestly just grateful to have someone who wanted him around- even if he didn’t want him in the same way. </p>
<p>After a while Tillman finally ran out of energy and Mike suggested they go back to his place and watch a movie. Mike had thrown on some random horror movie and they went to get settled down on the couch.</p>
<p>“Wow Mike, you couch sucks. It’s like a glorified loveseat”</p>
<p>“Not all of us have rich parents asshole” Mike flopped down onto the couch. “You just gonna watch the movie standing up.”</p>
<p>“I’ll sit on the love seat with you but you have to say no homo first”</p>
<p>“There is something severely wrong with you. But okay no homo. Now sit down you’re blocking the TV”</p>
<p>Mike, in a burst of confidence, a quarter of the way through the movie had said “Sorry if this looks gay to the viewers” and laid his head on Tillman’s chest. He hadn’t reacted for about 15 minutes but now Tillman was running his fingers through his hair which was actually really fucking nice even if Mike wasn’t going to admit it. And he definitely wasn't going to read into it. After all, Tillmans breathing had slowed down so he figured he was half asleep and  doing it out of reflex and not because you know, it meant anything. Mike sighed. </p>
<p>Just as he was about to doze off, the movie played a jump scare. Tillman, apparently not fully asleep, had yelped, grabbing Mike's hair and pulling it up. Mike in turn, had also yelped, both from the pain from his hair being pulled and the shock from Tillman yelling, and then jerked his head upward, slamming it into his face.</p>
<p>Which was why they now both were in the kitchen drinking shitty beer while Tillman held a frozen veggie medley bag up to his bleeding nose. Mike sat on the counter swinging his legs.</p>
<p>“Jesus fuck,” he said</p>
<p>“I am so fucking sorry” Mike said for the umpteenth time. Tillman just looked angry... but not at him. Mike burst out laughing. “Dude... are you embarrassed you got scared?” Tillmans brows furrowed in confirmation as Mike continued to laugh. </p>
<p>“I wasn't scared. The loud fucking noise startled me is all. Jumpscares are a cheap fucking trick anyway.”</p>
<p>Mike smiled. “Yeah dude, jump scares are lame.”</p>
<p>“Sorry for yanking your hair tho”</p>
<p>Mike paused “It was kinda nice”</p>
<p>“Having your hair yanked out? Wow Mike didn’t know you were a kinky fuck”</p>
<p>“No. Not that obviously. When you were playing with it” Oh jeeze. Mike mentally kicked himself for saying anything. It was like he was gunning for the world record of saying shit with no filter in one night.</p>
<p>“Yeah bro your hair is really soft, it’s nice.” said Tillman like this was an obvious reason to play with your bro’s hair.</p>
<p>“Well I have a pretty good conditioner” said Mike.</p>
<p>“You use conditioner? That’s pretty gay.”</p>
<p>“What you only use shampoo?”</p>
<p>“No that's weak. I just use three in one. Fucking saves time and shit”</p>
<p>“Hmm” </p>
<p>“What kinda judgmental tone is that. Just cause you’re in the pocket of big conditioner with your perfect hair doesn’t mean the rest of us have to buy into it”</p>
<p>Mike was so busy thinking about Tillman describing his hair as perfect that he was caught off guard by Tillman shoving his head in his face.</p>
<p>“See feel my hair. Don’t need fucking conditioner for that when your hair is naturally just that good.” </p>
<p>Mikes brain was trying to catch up</p>
<p>“Dont be fucking weird dude, feel my hair”</p>
<p>He felt it. It was actually pretty soft. </p>
<p>“Yeah it’s nice”</p>
<p>“See” Tillman said triumphantly, standing back upright. “Conditioner is a scam”</p>
<p>“Man fuck you”</p>
<p>“Listen I'm serious about the conditioner being-“</p>
<p>“No. Your hair. It's not fair that you get to grow it out long and it looks hot”</p>
<p>“You think my hair looks hot”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Fuck you”</p>
<p>“Why don't you stop being a jealous bitch and grow yours out”</p>
<p>“It would look bad on me” and way too feminine Mike thought to himself.</p>
<p>“Nah dude it'd be totally hot.”</p>
<p>“Doubt it”</p>
<p>“Yeah it'd be like a rockstar look. Very cool dude” Tillman paused and looked uncharastically thoughtful “Wanna make out?”</p>
<p>Mike spat out his beer. “What”</p>
<p>“Don’t be fucking gross with your spit, this isn’t the Moist Talkers.” Tillman said wiping his face off “I said do you wanna make out”</p>
<p>“Uh”</p>
<p>“You clearly think I’m hot. I think you’re hot, in a rat kinda way. Wanna make out about it?”</p>
<p>Mike just stared at him. His brain felt like it was 90% loaded and had just frozen and was about to crash.</p>
<p>“Mike… I took you on like at least three dates tonight. I was like sincere and shit. Stop looking at me like you just got slapped with a fish-”</p>
<p>“Yes please”</p>
<p>“Wow using please what a goody tw-“</p>
<p>Mike grabbed him pulling him close and kissed him and Tillman was kissing him back and for the first time in years Mike felt wanted. He could figure out the rest of being with Tillman later but for now being with him at 3 am in his broken-down kitchen was enough.</p>
<p>Then they had a really hot makeout which I, the author, am incapable of writing because I just keep laughing every time I try. Godspeed you assholes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've been disassociating for like 2 days straight enjoy ❤️</p></blockquote></div></div>
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